Nothing gets under my skin more than seeing a step mom engage in a clothing war with a bio mom.
Let me spell this out for you ... It's petty. It is in no way in the child's best interest. You are contributing and creating conflict and stress for the child. Stop it. Be a grown up. When you purchase clothing for a child and give it to the child, guess what? It's theirs. It's not yours. I know, clothes are expensive, BM always sends them in rags, I never get the clothes I bought back .... Etc. I don't care. It's still petty. It's still going to cause the child anxiety, conflict and harm. Give up the clothing war. Figure out something, a grown up way to deal with it that doesn't make the child feel like shit or put them in the middle. I've heard of step moms going through bags, doing bedroom checks, and treating the child like a criminal or a thief. Stop it. Do you place the value of these items over a child's wellbeing? What memories are you creating for this child when you do this? How are you making the child feel? Is this the childhood you would want to create for the child, or your child? Yes, I have been through it. BM sent SD to us in clothes that didn't fit, had holes, etc.. We would talk to SD, ask that she pick out an outfit or two to keep at our house and let her take the rest home. She is the one who needs the clothes, not us. We weren't made out of money, a lot of the things we got for her were from yard sales, relatives, even Goodwill. The important part is not brand, or cost, or parading a child around like a walking shrine of how good of a parent you are by how well dressed they are, it's important that the child has clean clothes that fit.
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July 2017
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